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Literature by TheLunaLily


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Submitted on
February 20, 2011
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your attenuate bones
clik clak
clak
against each other
against my ankles
pooled
in the foot of this sleeping bag



they summon up
eighty-eight goose-bumps taught to sing
evanescence in the summer(.)
we loved.


now: see-
through skin
for your viewing pleasure
reasoning with irresponsible tendons
writhing cos we were we are one
typewriter with two dry
mouths,
fifty-six detac
hed teeth






"never more than one hundred hand breadths apart and never more"
"feels like the weight of the world
like all my screaming has gone unheard
and oh, i know you don't believe in me
safe in the dark, how can you see?"
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:iconwish-sticks:
You are amazing and awesome and you send shivers down my spine. Reading what you write is like - I don't even know. Like those people who create miniature metropolis's out of matchsticks, but if they did it with wishbones and held it together with grass seeds.

You're just so damn wonderful.

I don't know what else to say? The idea is amazing, the way you wrote it is phenomenal, your actual technique makes my knees tremble and you're just...

Perfect.

So I'm just going to spam this over and over until I hit the limit instead:

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Never, ever stop writing.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
11 out of 11 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconpassionsinsanity:
PassionsInsanity Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is just so damned amazing. :heart:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
:hug:
It means a lot to me that you think so.
:heart:
Thankyou thankyou.
Reply
:iconpassionsinsanity:
PassionsInsanity Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:icononerasers:
onerasers Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2011
this is so exquisite and lovely.
another precious piece of writing i read from/by/trough you.
i know i am at risk of missing the point, but i find it so incredibly endearing the way you use numbers, which makes it all seem so precise and measured, and yet utterly... raw and bursting, only... not quite. i don't know. might be making some bad word choices here, but it's tolerable i guess.
so... this is all pure amazingness, i must confess.
you had me counting randomnesses out loud, and i love you for it.
now - to cut off the babbling! (as i plead guilty for lacking coherence).

well, to sum it up easily, your seventy-seven words just made my week.

thankyousosomuch. ♥
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Whoa!
What a compliment!!
I know just what you mean with what you're saying.. it makes perfect sense cos that's what I meant for this to be like. ^_^ This is about a real person.. one who just isn't entirely tangible at the moment. Those feelings of longing for other times came to the surface.. so in that sense this is raw, but in a way that is calculated.. as these sort of thoughts aren't new to me. I'm used to missing her.

Thank you so so so much. Honestly.. the fact that you could feel what this meant to me means so much! :huggle:
Reply
:icononerasers:
onerasers Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
You are so very welcome! :huggle:
Reply
:iconknifapotamas:
Knifapotamas Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love your writing so much, dear. <3 Really really. Reading your work just brings a smile to my face every time. I just can't help but grin. :heart:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011
And I can't help but grin when I read your comments. :D
You're so sweet, thank you so much.
You should link me to some of your latest greatest works, eh? Sorry I haven't been on dA much.
Reply
:iconknifapotamas:
Knifapotamas Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
xD I've been focusing more on my drawing than writing lately, but this is my most recent. Mind you, it's prose, so it may not be up to par- I'm aware that I don't do non-poemy things that well. xD

[link]
Reply
:iconadi0:
adi0 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2011  Student Photographer
Great work like usual. :)
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2011
(:
Thanks so much.
You're wonderful.
Reply
:iconadi0:
adi0 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011  Student Photographer
Hey your awesome. You should really have a poetry book published. No joke.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011
:blowkiss:
I kept this comment in my inbox for so long because it made me smile every time I saw it. :D Thank you thank you!
Reply
:iconadi0:
adi0 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Student Photographer
Glad to help. :D But seriously, I have read poetry books in the past. MOST of them are just ok. Yours are actually fun to read. Don't ever stop.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2011
:blush: I don't plan on it.
Thanks again. (:
Reply
:iconwolf-flash:
Wolf-Flash Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011
I agree with the critique. 132%.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011
:love:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is gorgeous. Your word choices are always spot-on and are really evocative. This poem, despite being fairly short, conveys so much, so beautifully. I adore the structure and line breaks here too, and the overall effect is quite haunting, in a way. :aww:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011
Yes! I was hoping someone would mention my line breaks. :D I try to place them in a way that conveys the depth of emotions I feel through the piece.. which sounds tricky, and it is! (: You're so sweet! Thanks a million! :D
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! :heart:
Reply
:icononly-another-wraith:
Only-Another-Wraith Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011  Student Writer
the thing i love the most about your writing is it really makes me think.
i never really know if i'm right, or if i'm supposed to think, but i do anyway.
and i love that.
i love your writing.
it's just so...beautiful in the most unique way. i love when you mention bones, it makes me happy.
:heart:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011
That is wonderful
You are wonderful.
:hug:
I'm glad you like when I write about bones. I feel these things in my bones. It's just how it is.
Reply
:iconmadamsarcasm:
MadamSarcasm Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011
I love it, I love it, I love it, I love you, I love it.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011
Adafdnoaksdn!!
I love you too, thanks so much! :D
Reply
:iconenotomology:
Enotomology Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
I think you have very unique poetry. I adore how you employ different forms of sense perception into your poems. As somebody to reads a lot, I feel crippled when I am hearing poetry, and I think that sound devices give the poem more dimensions, and then the imagery is observant without being too grossly detailed--And then the use of "goosebumps" almost makes you feel. You're brilliant.<3
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011
I have now read this comment 1496x. I love you. Thank you so much. I don't even know how to appropriately respond.. just, thank you so much. To be able to touch people with my writing is more than I could have asked for. ^_^
Reply
:iconbellanellamorte:
BellaNellaMorte Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
My goodness. I'm weak reading this. You're nothing short amazing, and a whole lot more.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011
:blowkiss:
You're so sweet to me! Thank you!!
Reply
:iconbellanellamorte:
BellaNellaMorte Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: :)
Reply
:iconyelshua:
Yelshua Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
I absolutely love the way the type writer font makes this so much better.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
:blowkiss:
I adore this font.
Thanks so much.
Reply
:iconyelshua:
Yelshua Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
You are so welcome.
Reply
:iconnobodytheperfect:
NobodyThePerfect Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011   General Artist
Yay Yay Yay! New stuff from you (:
You have no idea how amazing this is.
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
You're right.. I probably don't. ;)
Thanks for telling me.
Reply
:iconnobodytheperfect:
NobodyThePerfect Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011   General Artist
Hehehe you're welcome
Reply
:iconaliceliekscupcakes83:
Loves it! XD
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
Thanks so much! What a cute icon. (:
Reply
:iconaliceliekscupcakes83:
its cute.....thanks!
Reply
:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
oh this was interesting. I like "evanescence in the summer (.)". made me stop and flow and it was different with each.

then "now: see-"
..."through skin"
and "now see-through skin"
it...wow...i love that

and the fact that you "detac" "hed" the word itself. you made art out of words.

i don't usually like that; when people try to paint with words but...you did one heck of a job with it (:

lovely work, London. As usual. If I was blind, I'd want to hear these words. If I was deaf, I'd want to feel them. I wish I could frame you and your words :heart:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
sometimes the painting with words seems cheesy.
i mean, even when i do it.. i'm glad you liked it love. ^^j
i could explain this one.. if you wanted. :heart:
Reply
:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
mhm
i like it to be open to perceptions
i get some good ones ^^
and yes, i always love that (:
Reply
:icontoxic-nebulae:
toxic-nebulae Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Student Writer
"now: see-
through skin

for your viewing pleasure"

is grittily intimate and perfect.
:hug:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
Ahhh, thank you !!
:D
Reply
:icontoxic-nebulae:
toxic-nebulae Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Student Writer
<3 of course.
Reply
:iconcaptainmouse:
captainmouse Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
Oh my lord London.

I'm sitting here, trying to write a poem, and in a moment where I was lacking momentum in the endeavor, I happened to glance at my messages. Which lead me here.

I feel so talentless now D:

The first stanza is lovely. Attenuate is a delicious word. The whole of the stanza just comes together so prettily.

The whole thing, is lovely really. It has me almost speechless, almost longing for something I didn't know I missed. Have you ever felt that? Missing something you never had to begin with?

brava, London.

-Frankie
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
Frankieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, my sweet!
Please write something! I keep clicking your username to see if you've written anything. :heart: I adore the words you use! "prettily" "endeavor." These are the kinds of words my mind speaks to me with. ^^j

Yes. I've felt that. So many times. I don't know that I ever had her. In a way that's what this is about. It's also about getting used to missing someone- so much that the ache is familiar and you feel strange if/when it fades.

Thank you thank you.
Reply
:iconmissmarco:
MissMarco Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh how I've missed your writing lately :heart:

That ending.. and those lovely words in your artist's comments.. :nod:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
oh have you really missed it?
that means buckets and bundles to me.
:hug:

the comments section is a song by evanescence. (:
Reply
:iconmissmarco:
MissMarco Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes, I really really have.. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
that means a lot to me.
thankyou.
Reply
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