Hold Me Still

upon waking i felt unfamiliarly comforted-
an almost foreign
sweetouch
maybe more of phantom third and fourth gentle hands
than his real ones
see,
it had never been like that

"i shouldv known you'd still be feelin this,
seeing me when i didin once look back"

one of those hands had run through my gun-metal hair
i remember that
i remember that from before the leaving,
you did love me, even if you don't right now

[this weed-dream -grew- what i really wanted from what i had gotten.]

oughta know i liked what i had
you should know i love what i had

[takin my shears to your tender roots -teenage thorns in a spice jar- layin to curl around your -now- healthy bits to be your sunshine a g a i n ?    my hair has always been dirt-flavored, and your bones sinewy. ill try not to smother, but i cannot promise no promises, seeing as how they used to keep you h_e_r_e]

on this, the ninth dawn you've yet to break the surface
i want to dig, but i just finally got my hands clean
the straightest line of your palm fuses to my spine
because that's the part of you that i feel when i hold real still
because that's the part of you that i feel when you hold me still

because
that's
the
part
that
i
feel
when
you